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For most people in New York, one look at the jam packed outdoor tables at Da Silvano and Pastis and they know that summer is fast approaching. However for me, the true sign of summer is when I receive my first invitation to a swanky pre-Hamptons soiree. I attended one such event last week at a new venue in the city called Myst. The weather was decent, so the ladies sported their new summer duds- graphic black and white patterned outfits, asymmetrical bold-colored satin cocktail dresses, lucite necklaces and platform espadrilles sandals. The place was primarily populated with single people; catching up with old Hamptons friends, reminiscing about summers past, making new contacts and trying to score invitations to the first bashes of the summer.

As I wandered around, I couldn’t help but overhear much of the chatter about the Hamptons-buzz about whether Nello and Red bar would be trendy again, guesses as to whether Saracen had really been replaced by Philippe, the Mr. Chow spin-off, and gossip about who had gotten married, who had broken up and who had gotten their noses done. At first glance, everyone seemed excited about heading out east once again. But then, upon closer inspection, I noticed that quite a few party revelers who, once upon a time, loved the Hamptons, now seemed almost depressed by the prospect of spending another summer out there.. I heard statements like “I never thought that I would be single again in the Hamptons,” “I vowed that I would never again share a bathroom with 4 people,” “I hate the Hamptons; I can’t believe I have to spend another summer out there.” The anxiety and despair of these people was palpable and it made me sad because I truly love the Hamptons, its one of my favorite places in the world.

So, if you are one of those people who need to rediscover your Hamptons mojo, here’s some advice about how to you can approach this summer a little differently.

1. Expand your social circle. Meeting new types of people can help you find new love possibilities.

2. Check out some non- trendy places for a change. Some of the best places in the Hamptons are places that have been around for many years like the Driver’s Seat and The Lobster Roll.

3. Throw a party. Don’t just wait around to be invited, do the inviting. Host and Hostesses get a lot of attention!

4. Take a Friday or a Monday off and have a long weekend in the Hamptons. You will miss the traffic this way and you will meet a different group of people than those you see on Saturdays and Sundays.

5. Experience the scenic part of the Hamptons- the ponds, the vineyards and the beaches. This will help you remember how beautiful it all is.

6. Bring a friend with you who has never been before and look at it all thru her eyes. By doing this you will remember that only a small group of us truly fortunate people get to vacation in this summer playground.

7. Enjoy the days- tennis, volleyball, waterskiing, biking, and swimming. If you focus only on the nighttime activities, you will surely burn out.

8. Think positively about what you hope to get out of this summer whether it’s new friends, a significant other or an improved golf game and make it happen for yourself.

So, yesterday I went to a high school reunion lunch. One of the girls there, told me a story that I thought I should share….

She is divorced, has one child, a son. She lives in Phila. When she got divorced she didn’t think she would ever meet a guy. She went on date after date, set-up after set-up, bad party after bad party, but nothing, no one ever clicked. Then she went on Match.com, and she met a guy named Mark. She had this very romantic first date with him- drinks, a basketball game and then dancing.

She thought he was great, with one gigantic red flag…. He was very quick to tell her about “Mark’s 3 year plan.” His 3 year plan was that he felt strongly that he would never marry a woman until he knew her for 3 full years. He said that he had been in a bad marriage before and he didn’t want to do that again. Of course this comment was like an elephant on the table and most girls I know would have run, not walked straight to the door and never to take his phone calls again. And who would blaim them, 3 years is a long “sentence” to live in a relationship.

But this girl, acted unlike most of the girls I know in NY. She decided to not let that comment bother her and she decided to date him. One month later, he said to her, remember my three year plan that I told you about on our first date? Well, I think you are the one for me so I am starting to get over that plan! Three months later, when they had been together 4 months, they got engaged and they are getting married in 10 days, 1 year and 13 days after they met. So much for plans and rules!!!


True story!

Moral of the story- anything is possible and when you meet the right person all your rules, and lists, and must haves and plans fly out the window because when its “it”, it’s “it”!

Why not make November the month in which you give a chance to a person or to people you would have never given a chance!

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